One question that people are asked from the day that they
enter Kindergarten, to the day that they graduate from college, is, "What
do you want to do when you grow up?" At first kids choose professions that
sound cool to them like fire fighter or police officer. Then, as time passes,
the answers to this question change depending on money or fame. For girls the
answer changes to something along the lines of singer, super model, or actress.
For boys the answer becomes something more related to sports or politics like
the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys or the President of the United States. As
people mature, and come to the realization that their previous answers were
dreams not possible for the common man, the answers change to something
practical and specified to their specific talents like accountant, PR official,
or computer programmer. However, what happens when the answer to this question
of career never comes? A person is left undecided and lost. This happens,
especially to women today. I know I am currently going through this problem
myself. Looking for guidance, I read Undecided: How to Ditch the Endless
Quest for Perfect and Find the Career and Life That’s Right for You. This book by Barbara and Shannon Kelley, a
mother-daughter team, outlines the challenges women face today in the
professional world looking for jobs, keeping jobs, and making decisions on
career moves. Through the personal stories discussed in the book, I was able to
understand how I got to the place I am and how to get out of it.
Deciding on a career and looking for jobs was the first
obstacle that was tackled by the Kelley team. This problem was one the Kelley
duo identified and addressed throughout the whole book. It is an obstacle that
women have had to deal with ever since the second feminist movement. It has
yielded an infinite amount of opportunities to women due to the numerous opened
doors that have been made attainable for the female gender. However, because of
these numerous choices, a popular notion for women has become that a girl has
to take advantage of every opportunity possible, not just one thing. However,
this thought is impossible. No one can do everything, but since it has been so
engrained into our brains, women feel as though if they do not accomplish it
all, then they are failures. This ultimatum must be done away with. The
Kelley’s discuss how it can be overcome. Dozens of personal stories are
presented from women across the nation about how they have made the decision or
how they are still struggling to make the final step into a career. Through
these stories women are able to relate and identify what they might need to do
next.
Another obstacle that is discussed within this book is the
problem women have with the “what if.” An extensive look is taken at how women
question whether or not they made the right decision about pursuing the
profession they work. The horrible
“I could have been” plagues everyone. I could have been a professional
writer. I could have been a TV news anchor. This
is usually due to dissatisfaction with a current job or life status. I could have been something different. I
could have been happier. I could have been better. These are the actual
qualities that a woman is questioning or having a problem with. This is really
what we women are wondering. Women look to how they could have or can make
their lives better in the future. This is done in comparison to peers or
family. It is also something that women have to fight because no two female
lives are the same. Comparison can never truly be accurate because you never
know 100% of your friend’s or family member’s story. Undecided evaluates this problem and discusses how women can
overcome and become surer about what they are doing and who they are.
Undecided also takes
an excellent look at how a woman’s brain works in comparison to a man’s. This
was one of the most interesting parts of the book for me because it really
highlighted the differences in how men and women function. Women are true
multitaskers whereas men are linear thinkers, in that they see a beginning and
an end and work from point A to point B. This is one quality that makes women
better secretaries than men, because they can deal with multiple problems at
once and not get overloaded. It is also very interesting because as the authors
note out more differences between the male and female brain function, you can
really start to see examples of them in people you know in your personal life.
Their research is intriguing and thought provoking.
In the end, I believe that Undecided is a book that everyone must read because it gives
women guidance and encouragement, while it would also give men some dos and
don’ts on behavior around the opposite gender. Hopefully, as you read Undecided it will become easier to answer the question of what
you want to do for the rest of your life.
